Seperation Anxiety?

When my kids were smaller I was not fond of leaving them.  Basically, if we could go somewhere then I assumed they could go.  If they couldn't, well we just didn't for the most part.  Then there was one activity after another as they grew that forced me to let go and let them have more freedom away from me. 

Lately, I have forced Kagan back into this bubble of having me there.  For the first month, I did not let him out of my sight.  Then I did go and pick Kenadee up from cheer the other day (15 minutes) where I left him alone with Kaleb.   At church he went to the youth room for almost a whole hour without me being there as I was in the family life center.  Now, today - he went with Kaleb twice without me.

After shopping, Kaleb had to run back to the store.  He asked if anyone wanted to go with him and Kagan said "I will" and was bouncing out of the house before I could object.   This little trip was followed by a trip to the range with his dad later in the evening for a few hours.  

I did not like it....Not at all.

I was not prepared for the feeling of the complete anxiety that I felt.  I trust Kaleb very much but what if something happened and I was not there to handle it?    For example, today Kaleb, Kagan and I went grocery shopping together.  When we got to the store Kagan said "I am not feeling well because my stomach hurts".  I reached in my purse and BAM - pulled out a zophran so that he could take it.  Would Kaleb have a purse with him?   (I will answer this - NO!)

Now, Kaleb would have likely left the buggy, rushed Kagan home and gave him all the right care that he needed if he was having to handle.  No doubt he would have taken care of him just fine but I want to take care of him.  Just like when he was a baby.

Let's just say I realize this sounds silly but when your kid is sick you just kinda revert back into wanting to do all the mothering you can.  You can't do anything except everything that you can think of to be there for them.   Such a balancing act.