Home Sweet Home

We came home for a brief break for a few days before the next chemo treatments.  It was really nice to come home and be in my own bed, near my husband and my other kids; but I was still very nervous.

When we walked out the hospital and all the nurses came to say bye I had a feeling like I was leaving my parent's house as an adult.  Just like their house is no longer my house it is always home.  I know my home is the place where Kaleb and I share with our kids but there is something that about a safety net that my parent's house gives me.  That is how the hospital felt.

Leaving the hospital meant no more daily blood counts to watch the newly learned "ANC" to see how Kagan is doing.  No more every four hours of a nurse confirming the blood pressure and temps.  More importantly no more breathing monitor that had become so important during this process.

Things keep running around my head as I came home.  The normalcy of life creeping back in on the drive home.  Like, I will need to stop and get gas.  I gotta get this stuff unpacked and cleaned, stop by the pharmacy, what do Kade and Kenadee have to do, I have some work I need to get done, I need to fix my email, etc.    I wanted to stop - turn around - and focus on just getting Kagan better.

Then after about 5 minutes of snuggles with Kade, Kenadee & Kaleb I knew where I was suppose to be.  This is home.  This is the place where the world makes sense.  Sure, I have to get back to running life again but some how it is going to be with more focus.   A little voice that says that you must live life but now you must live it with new priorities.

Before we left the hospital, Kagan was a chatter box with the nurses.   Something about saying that he could go home that made him be so conversational.  (If you know Kagan, you know this is not his normal self).  We even had a good time with the nurse learning how to give shots.  Kagan was a sport and played along.

This was Megan.  She was one my favorite nurses.  She was so sweet to sit, listen and teach.   I will forever be thankful to the nurses who helped take such good care of Kagan.