I am having a real issue with one of Kagan's doctors. I just don't trust her at all. I am sure she is a fine doctor but her style of caring for Kagan compared to the other doctors is so different. To me she seems cold and distant. When I ask questions she makes me feel like a kid in kindergarten asking questions about physics.
Our group of oncology doctors has three doctors. I feel very comfortable, confident and that Kagan is in good hands with two of them. I mean when they tell me something I feel like they are doing what is best for him. When she says something I just feel like she is just going down a list with no real attention to the particulars of Kagan's case.
I have heard some patients say they really like her; but on doctor rating cites she is the only one of three who does not have a "five star rating" (or whatever the highest is in on any particular website). I can't see she has done anything wrong but I don't hear words of anything that she has done right.
I am really struggling because I don't want to deal with her any longer. I am just wondering can you ask that a doctor in a group not see your child? Am I going to become that mother, the one who made waves?
Again, I am sure that she is a fine doctor but she does not make me feel fine. I don't want to go as far as to complain that she has done anything wrong but when we left the hospital I was as mad as firecracker at her. If the same circumstances would have been with the other doctors I would have trusted them but her, I was mad. I don't think I should feel this way towards the person caring for my son.
Basically, Kagan has had some trouble with this new PICC line flushing and giving blood return. Since it is a new PICC line this should not be happening. Several of the nurses were baffled by it's fickleness. We already done the TPA (same medicine they give to stroke patients) for the blood clot. He got cleared of that because the line started to work but something keeps happening and we are not sure what. When the nurse went to discharge us she unhooked Kagan from the fluids he was getting. When she went to flush the line and hepornize it, there was once again the block and no flush would flow thru. I asked the nurse if I could try to do it so I would know what she was talking about for when I do it at home. When I pushed it, it would not move. Then I pushed it again and it gave a little bit and Kagan yelled "Ouch". I about died! He said "That Hurt". The nurse and I both asked him where and he said as he motioned to the area of his heart, "Here". Heart beats a zillon times a second in mom's heart at this point.
The nurse immediately went and got another nurse. They called the IV team to come look. Upon looking they did get the flush to go through but still suggested something wasn't right. They called the doctor to get an approval (at the IV team's suggestion) for an x-ray and test of the clotting of the blood. When they called the doctor said "NO, just let them go home". Really? Are you kidding me?
Her reason was to not keep us in the hospital an extra day if it was nothing. My reason is keep him the hospital an extra day to confirm it is nothing. The nurses did as ordered and tried to calm my fears by saying it would be okay and what to do if something went wrong. They backed up the doctor but I could see their faces like "um, okay this will be okay".
Earlier in the day the surgeon and her had disagreed on the need for the aspiration of "the culprit". Her reason was just wait and see and his was we are going to see for sure and not take any chances. I took the surgeon's advice. I think she got her panties in a wad.
So, after my nap and really thinking about it I am trying to decide what to do. I did flush Kagan's line and it was A-okay. So, she is right at this exact point but I hate the feeling of being worried when she could have taken this worry away from me with an xray to confirm that the PICC line was right where it needed to be. The nurses weren't sure, the IV nurse (who placed the line) wasn't sure but I am glad she could so easily make that call OVER THE PHONE!
Let's just say I hope she is right in her call. If not, well....
I can tell you again that I have been so impressed with the doctors that we have and the amazing nurses staff that we have. They have been absolutely AMAZING! I hate this feeling of just complete un-trust and unsettling feeling but I feel like this is my job to be protective. Even with the the excellent staff I cannot tell you how many times I have had to correct the doctors or nurses on the medicines that Kagan is on, be the one to the provide the test results or whatever to make sure that they know what is going on with Kagan. At times, I know more than they do with what is particular to Kagan all while knowing they know a zillion times more than I about what to do with the information that I have.
On a positive note, the doctors are saying things are looking really good. We have a whole battery of test lined up for next few weeks. As long as things go well, we will be doing everything outpatient with some more chemo this week in the clinic and then readmitted back to the hospital on August 1st.
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