Early tomorrow morning we will make our way back the hospital with a little bit more dread than the first visit. I mean the last time everything was a whirlwind of events. Everything was new. Everything was unknown. The first visit still seems like a bad nightmare that we have not quite woken up from - surreal and fuzzy but at least we did not have to prepare to go there.
Now, on visit 2, are we suppose to walk in there as if we understand what is happening and what is going on? Are we aware enough of the process to know what to expect or are we fools to think we even have a clue as to what is coming Kagan's way?
We will most likely only be there for a couple of days. The only thing that would change that is if he is neutropenic (fancy new cancer word) or if he has any unseen side effects to the chemo. So, how do I pack?
I want to just pack an overnight back and assume for the best and then again, I want to pack everything except the kitchen sink in the event that we are there longer. This way he can have all his comforts of home with him. Is being too overly optimistic a good thing or am I tempting fate?
Silly questions, I know; but welcome to my brain! It is way too filled with what if's and how to's to make much sense out of a lot. I think it has just become focused on things that begin with "K" (Kaleb, Kagan, Kade & Kenadee) that it is not processing much else. I bet it can still process Krispy Kreme though because that is two K's!
Our world has literally turned upside down in so many ways and it is odd how it all seems to be landing right where it needs to be. Let's just hope that my packing skills follow suit.
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