Some of our friends from church (thanks Linda and Terry ) have been faithful to send Kagan cards and pray for him during this journey along with many others. This week however the card he got from the Smith's really touched me.
You're facing a GIANT - mean, ugly and unfair.
It looks impossible-
but looks are deciving.
God is on your side and he doesn't just stand by
& cheer you on - he rushes into battle
TO FIGHT FOR YOU!
This week has been very odd. My son goes off to school, I pick him up to get him radiation treatment, he bounces in and out and then back to school so that he does not get behind in his honors classes. He just does it....he never (okay rarely never) complains and almost every single day he touches someone new. This can only be with the power of God fighting that he just does not get down.
Have you ever raised a teen?
They get moody because the sky is the wrong color of blue or because their best friend did not like their comment on facebook or because their boy/girlfriend did not snub someone they hate or because they did not have time to straighten their hair, or because ..... the list goes on and on.
The ONLY reason that Kagan is making it thru unlike many with a positive attitude is because of EXACTLY what that card said. GOD has rushed in and is fighting for him. It is NOT easy for him and at times is very frustrating but he puts smile on his face, respects his doctors, thinks about others and focuses on everyone else because this is NOT just his fight! He has God right in his corner. He has prayer warriors in our family and friends daily (many times a day) lifting him up to the throne of grace. That is HOW.
Now, this brings to me the WHY?
Kaleb and I have been talking a lot about this. I wanted to bring this to you, those who read my blog:
Do you think that God might be using Kagan's fight to help you remember to hug your little ones a little more at night?
Maybe you thought to go to the doctor for that test to check up on something that was not quite right (this happened to me)?
Could it be possible that there is something just not in focus in your life and when you have heard Kagan's story you were tempted to sort it out? Call a loved one that you don't talk to...Forgive a friend that hurt you...Focus your attention to a worthy cause.... ( I mean if he was facing the possibility of death at 15 do you really have enough time to get everything sorted out the you want to before you are faced with that possibility...or reality?)
Maybe he is using Kagan to tug at your heart that you have never surrendered to Christ and that you know that just being a good person is not enough but you aren't sure what to do?
If you love my son, which so many of you do, please know how much it would mean to our family to know that our son's journey is not in vain. God is teaching us so much during this journey and we hope that you can learn from the outside before this (or something else) shows up in your life as BOMB that forces change.
Kagan's glowing performance of letting GOD radiate thru him is surely as important as the radiation going in.
He has been marked, tattooed and scarred during the fight but one way or the other the battle will be WON! EVEN if Kagan went to heaven, he would not have lost. He made that decision many years as a young boy and every day grows stronger in his faith to know his victory is in GOD alone. (No, I don't think that will happen but it is a possibility we had to face -- a whole other blog).
It is a thought no mom wants to have, no dad wants to consider....we would be devastated. We would be heart broken, we would be shattered.... but the battle would still be WON!
In our heart of hearts, we believe he will get better and live a strong healthy life full of many successes and use this story. At that the battle with cancer will be WON too in the way we pray for! We look forward to watching his grow into the man who has built so much character and grace before he even turned 16.
He has inspired us to be a stronger family and redirect us. It is unfortunate the path to get here but how blessed we are that we get to battle with the mighty strength of a GOD who makes it look like we know we are doing!
I pray this peace for you and your family too as it is the only way to know a calm during a storm.
